You know for someone who wanted to see me you have a weird way of showing it i’ve been home a week today and its been pretty rough i’ve had some pretty shitty days but yet you don’t have the time to even come visit me not even ten  minutes of your day. Brandon I’m so sick of being head over heels for you and you don’t even give me the time of day its my fault i know you don’t ask me to love you but i cant help it. i need to get myself together and in order to do that i need to learn how to move on with my life and let go of you.

i sent it, i did it.

now i have to be strong enough to not respond to him. i told him im moving on, im getting my life together. i need to show him im serious. he needs to know he has hurt me. this time cant be like all of the others it needs to be different. god im falling apart i hope im strong enough to do this. i need him. i just wish he needed me.

im done trying to get you to love me.

if you only knew what i would give to be your everything. to be your world. i dont know what to do anymore. i cant keep sitting here and trying to make something happen that wont ever happen. if you only knew what you did to me. what you do to me.

its been a year now and i have yet to move on from you and get on with my life. i want to be with you. i want you to love me as much as i love you. but that will never happen and that litterrally kills me. 

im so broken.

“you broke my heart. you promised me the moon and the stars. i fell for your dreams i fell for your lies. there was no other way you know i tried.”

” i knew you could never love me, i had so much sorrow inside. you could never reach. but can i still keep a place in your heart?”

“there is something, i want you to know. i think you know exactly what it is. i didnt want to save you. i didnt want to save you. i set our house on fire to watch it burn. but i couldnt just leave you.”

ill always care for you. you’ll always have a part of my heart. im sorry i have yet to accept the fact that we wont ever be together. it honestly breaks my heart. 

from here on out, ill deal with it on my own, and stop dragging you into it.

i love you, forever and always.